Stephen Fry Discusses Manic Depression

Stephen Fry is a very respected and very intelligent man. He graduated from Cambridge and has made a career as a British actor and comedian. Mr. Fry has also been diagnosed with manic depression. In this interview he discusses his illness as well as a movie he made on the subject.

A Little Help from My Friends: Support & Mental Health

There was a time when my moods swung like the wiper blades on a windshield; no one including myself knew what to expect. Then came the heavy medication that kept me virtually comatose for twelve years. They definitely dulled my emotions; someone could tell me they were dying of cancer and all I could give them was a lost stare. The problem was everything else felt numbed too. I couldn’t think very clearly and when I moved it felt like I was moving through Jell-o. This was the state I was in when my friends simultaneously decided that they didn’t want me being part of their lives anymore. They figured I’d been sick nearly two years and I hadn’t done anything to help myself. They’d lost faith in me. And *poof* they were gone. Christ on a stick! I could hardly bring myself to eat or wash or even get out of bed some days. I tried to tell them but my words fell on deaf ears. When I needed someone around the most they go and dump me. Those ill-conceived bastards!


Five good friends, two of which I’d grown up with, had abandoned me. Yes, I use the word “abandoned” correctly. My doctor at the time thought it was a terrible thing for them to do and my psychiatric nurse actually seemed shocked. In the end, it was every man for himself. If any one of them had taken the time to consider the outcome of their actions or taken responsibility for them, I might not have ended up in my present state. I may have been less likely to fill out all those forms after a couple of suicide attempts. Hey, just saying.

I saw one of them on the street about a week ago. I smiled and waved. He turned his head and walked away. That’s what brought all of this to the surface again. I’m not the only one, either. I’ve met a lot of psychiatric patients that had lost both friends and family because they were sick. So many people don’t “believe” that psychiatric illness even exists and that doctors and psychiatrists are nothing more than witch doctors. They tell us to “get over it” because it’s all in our heads. Ha! Yeah, well chosen words. One of the few things I remember from the 90s (because of the meds) was that I underwent a battery of tests including an MRI. They told me I had had a chemical imbalance in my brain since I was born and that it was probably a genetic trait. Born bipolar… Ain’t that a kick in the teeth? My difficulty sleeping – insomnia and “night terrors” – may be because of some neurological problem. There’s a hospital here in Montreal that has a clinic especially for sleep disorders. I’ve been trying to get an appointment for nearly ten years, they’re that back logged.

But from 1991 to 2004 sleep wasn’t an issue. I was so doped up I have next to no memory of those years. I vaguely remember going to a concert I’d been dying to see, those brain tests and, of course, my father’s death. There’s one event from that time, however, that stands out above all my other memories of all time. I stayed in my usual psychiatric hospital for two months. I met a really sweet girl there. We saw each other outside the hospital for a little over a month when she committed suicide. I lost a big piece of myself that day and finally understood what loneliness was. That’s all I really have to say about that.

At the start of that weird, stoned period I tried different things to try to get myself out of that situation. I took courses by mail and online but was ultimately disappointed. They gave me the bare basics, got me interested but demanded more money for anything more advanced. I was part of an art therapy program and I was the only “normal” person there. The rest was a group of mentally retarded adults. That didn’t work out well. Through a government program I took part in a job re-training program for nine months. I thought I was doing well, or so I thought. I did have some trouble in groups. At my evaluation at the end I was told I had improved but that I was not suitable to work. I was also told that this would go on my permanent government record. Unless I worked illegally I’d never get a real job again. That was a big blow. In order to get rid of that terrible black mark I would have to be re-evaluated by a doctor then get an evaluation from a government doctor then show I’m capable of taking on a job. After that I kind of slid into a depressed state.

After twelve years I really wanted to get out of that awful state. I asserted myself and insisted that my new doctor changed my meds. He did but a couple of the drugs I had decided to quit cold turkey. The next few weeks were hard and the withdrawal symptoms were sometimes overwhelming. Then, one October day, I experienced what I jokingly call “The Great Awakening”. I was walking home from the market, trying to avoid people at all costs, when I looked up and saw the colourful leaves. It was as if I was seeing autumn leaves for the first time. There was a smokey smell in the air and the breeze was cool. It all happened as if someone threw a switch and my senses turned on. I was great for a couple of days but soon everything was normal. But at least I wasn’t in a walking coma anymore.

The passing years had taking a toll on my life. Being numb for so long had left me feeling like I had awakened in the future. New technology, new attitudes… I’m still having trouble fitting in. No friends, no job and poor physical health made it so that my apartment was the limit of my world. And it was an awful mess from years of neglect. Strangely, when I broke my ankle a while back, the med-tech said he’d try to find help for me and he did get the ball rolling. And so began a frustrating series of phone conversations with social services. In the end, they told me they didn’t have enough people to make home visits. The same happened when my doctor insisted I call them again so they could help me out. Yep, same shit. With help I hired a professional cleaner and he did a top job. My opinion of government services definitely took a turn for the worse, though.

I still have to deal with the ups and downs of depression and I’m trying to figure out how to fix everything. It seems like such a big job. One thing I’m having trouble understanding is all this anger seething just under the surface. Not occasionally – all the time. I need help to accomplish change but help just isn’t there professionally or otherwise. My agoraphobia is still like a heavy chain around me, keeping me from things I know I should be doing. I still write and draw but it seems that whenever I make progress I trip or hit a wall. I wonder if because of my hateful illness I will ever have a real friend again. I should say there is one person who has been with me all along that has been much more than a friend, my mother. As she often says she’s no “Spring chicken” and even though she doesn’t understand my craziness she’s always there. I sometimes go into rants where I say things that might hurt her but she weathers my storms. She is a blessing with a heart of gold.

I am certain that things would have turned out differently if I’d had a friend or companion at my side all this time. I believe in first causes; had those friends been more understanding and compassionate all those years ago there could have been some damage control. I hate to see how other mentally ill people are treated; they’re mistreated, laughed at and ignored when they need attention. They have to bear the weight of labels and when one human being snaps the mentally ill are given his sins. How can we possibly heal and grow in such an environment? Once we were chained to walls in cold, wet dungeons, people paid to see the “crazies” yanking on their chains. Things may have change but not only marginally. My own personal plight is next to nothing compared to the suffering and hardship many of the mentally ill experience. Some receive good care and lead almost normal lives. Others sit forgotten in hospitals or homeless on the streets. I’m afraid that when I am finally, completely alone that I will end up like one of those discarded ones. Just because I was born this way.

Be nice to the mentally ill. You might be surprised at the things they’re actually capable of. Hell, would it hurt to be nice to everyone?

-LAF

Internet Blues - The Dangers of Net Relationships

Issues? Yeah I’ve got issues – coming out my ass. What is up with this internet thingy? It seems that at every turn someone is trying to pull a fast one on me. Do I have the word “SUCKER” printed on my forehead? I’m a human of the male persuasion and I’ve got feelings too. They suck you in, get your trust and then, when they see that you’re not quite looking for they spit you out half eaten. In my case I am, of course, speaking mostly about women. I mean bad women, evil women – or a close facsimile thereof. Past experiences on the ‘net really have put my panties in a bunch. But these kinds of things date back to when I first started on the ‘net – yeah, ancient history. Point is I do not like it when people fuck with my emotions.

It’s true, women are the most victimized on the internet; cyber stalkers, emotional leeches or those that crave only cyber-sex then quickly disappear. Sometimes it gets to the point where women receive death threats or are threatened with rape. Thankfully this issue has finally gotten the attention it deserves (mostly) and help is readily available. But what about the men who go through similar situations? No help there. Most of the time men are just too ashamed and keep it a secret. Others may have the support of family and friends. Many, like me, keep falling into the same trap again and again, getting hurt every time. Why do they do it? Some sort of addiction? Or is it just a way to get attention? Nay, my simple readers, it’s loneliness, pure and simple. Believe me loneliness can drive a man to desperate and stupid extremes. But the women in question are scammers, trolls, probably the lowest form of life on the electronic highway. Some do it to get the victim’s money; others promise marriage (or sex) and then get your money. Finally there are those who do it just for ‘fun’, getting sick, perverse pleasure from preying on the emotions of others. From my own vast experience I’ve picked up on some common patterns in their methods.

First, they’ll give you only the most basic of information; first name and where they live is usually about all you’ll get. If you ask about simple things like favourite music, movies or books they’ll sidestep your questions or just ignore them completely, covering it up by telling you how much they love you. Forget about any personal info because it ain’t coming, dude. They will ask you a lot of questions about your job, if you want a family and how many children you were planning to have. Again, ask them the same questions and all you’ll get is the same vague bullshit answers. They’re very careful not to give any information about themselves but you and your lonely ass are going to tell them everything they want to know – and more. I’ve walked that path – several times, in fact.. They will send you pictures of themselves and they always look hot. On one occasion a lady sent me about a dozen pictures of herself. Only thing was I’d seen the same pics on a porn site the previous week. Ha! I nipped that one in the bud.

So can you trust anyone on the internet? Quite simply, no. The reason is simple; typing words in a chat is one of the most limited forms of communication. Not only is it completely impersonal you’re missing about 90% of the information. In a face to face real conversation a lot of things come into play. Changes in the voice’s tone and volume, facial expressions and ticks, body language and even smell are important parts of any conversation. So far there is no way to transmit all these things across the internet. And “lol” just doesn’t cut it. For all I know a really hot sounding chick who fulfills my every sexual fantasy online could really be a 400lb, bald, sweaty guy with hairy shoulders in Chicago with his 'little friend' in his right hand. And you, gentle persons, how do you know you’re best online friend isn’t that very same guy? There’s absolutely no way to be sure. They’ll tell you exactly what you want to hear and suck you right in. I know, I’m getting to be an expert in this. All out trust? No. We all take a certain leap of faith when creating online relationships. We only find out when it’s too late if we made the right choice or not. And by then, well, it’s too late. It's been said many times: Trust is something that's earned not given away.

You can never be too careful on the internet. Just use common sense; don’t give out too much personal information – as I am wont to do. Here information is evil’s greatest weapon. We are all vulnerable and open to attacks by total strangers as well as supposed friends. A lot of us are so lonely and wanting friends so badly that we leap into a relationship without considering the consequences. Thinking carefully about what we say first will avoid a world of unnecessary emotional pain. Don’t do anything stupid. Most importantly do not trust anyone.

Ever.

NASA Gets Spooky

Who says those scientist-types don't have a sense of humour? These images from NASA's CICLOPS (Cassini Imaging Central Laboratory for OPerationS) were released with a notice of "strange activity on Saturn's moons". A jack-o-latern, a graveyard in a crater, rivers of blood and a weird witch-like formation can be seen. Of course, this is all thanks to the imaging guys modifying some photos taken by the Cassini probe. Proof positive that the yuks are out there.

My Art Gallery - By Popular Demand!

Okay, not really by popular demand. Actually, I've been putting this off for a long time. Basically, exposing my art publicly is a little like exposing other, less pretty, parts of myself in public - some comments might cause shrinkage. I've posted my work on some more popular pages (names withheld to protect the guilty) because there was some (gasp!) nudity or the subject matter was inappropriate or some stuff was just too damned weird. Well, this is my blog and I am da boss so I'm gonna put what I want to!

Having asserted myself in a child-like manner, allow me to introduce my works. This is an unusual mix of media, from pencil, to ink, and finally computer rendering. I lean toward art in the fields of science-fiction and fantasy but will pretty much draw whatever comes to mind. Missing here are a whole bunch of portraits I did in my early years. Sadly, I put them in a safe place and now I can't find them. The one or two I do have on hand are too big to fit on my scanner. Maybe I'll find a way to include them here one day. Of course, I welcome constructive criticism. Stupid comments will be ignored then deleted. I hope y'all like this.

Have Mercy On Us All

Nothing is worse than suffering a terrible loss. The emotional and psychological scars are devastating and never seem to heal. Put on a national scale, such a loss becomes incomprehensibly big. The attacks on the World Trade Center recently marked it's 7th anniversary and again the entire world was reminded of how keenly the United States still feels the pain caused on that terrible day. Those who have not experienced it directly live in fear that it will happen to their countries. Like it or not, we live in a world where terrorism has become a stark reality.

But any psychologist will tell you that how we deal with tragedy in its aftermath is an important part of the whole healing process. In recent days, before and after the anniversary of 9/11, I've been flooded by patriotic American images of eagles and flags bearing words like "freedom", "liberty", "fight" and "die". Understandably, there is still a lot of sadness and anger in these images, and in the hearts of those who spread them throughout the Internet. Although seven years have passed, one gets the distinct impression that the wounds are still fresh, that the healing process hasn't even begun. The tragic events of September 11, 2001 seem to have become a virtual obsession with our American neighbours. If they haven't started healing, the question remains; "Why?".

Shortly after this historical event, U.S. troops invaded Iraq even though evidence of that country's duplicity with terrorism is flimsy. Still, deposed Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein was hunted down and captured. He faced trial and was quickly executed. President George W. Bush immediately put a price on the head of terrorist leader Ossama bin Laden who claimed responsibility for the 9/11 attacks. After seven years and with all the technology and resources available to them, the U.S. still hasn't found bin Laden. Initially, the U.S. attacked Afghanistan which was a well-known terrorist stronghold. After 9/11, the U.S. prematurely moved those troops to fight in Iraq, leaving other nations (including Canada) to clean up the mess they left behind. Bush's war on the "Axis of Evil" became a war on Iraq alone and it's a war that still drags on today, seemingly without end. It would seem that the words "freedom" and "peace" don't belong together in the American psyche.

More than anything, it would seem that what the U.S. needs for its wounds to heal is closure. Bin Laden remains elusive, the war in Iraq seems to be spiraling out of control, and terrorism is still a viable threat. Ground Zero, where the terrible events of 9/11 took place, is still barren; no monuments, no plaques, no buildings, just a pile of dried up flowers to honour the victims. Someone needs to strike at the very source of America's terrible grief and eliminate it thoroughly. Until that happens, Americans will continue to suffer both as a nation and individually.

Why, as a Canadian, am I so concerned about this? Whatever happens in the U.S. inevitably ripples outward to affect the entire world. What they do affects everyone, economically, politicaly, and in ways that are not completely evident. An escalation in the armed conflict in Iraq may spread outside of that country. This will drag the whole world into a conflict whose real cause is still uncertain (and it isn't terrorism). Sometimes, the American mentality can be quite provincial. I hope the day will come when we all realize that what we all do and say affects everyone else. This is especially important for a nation as rich and powerful as the U.S. Their influence is international and they are responsible for how they affect everyone.

I'm not as learned as others when it comes to politics. I'm just an everyday guy who sees what's going on around him. The day breast-beating American patriots say they will show no mercy is a day when all of us should be concerned.

The Disappearance

Well, it's time for me to "disappear" once again. Those MIBs are relentless! I should be back in about a week, barring any unforseen events. Before I make my exit, I wanted to share these images with you.

Yesterday's landing of the Phoenix probe on Mars was, by any definition, a textbook landing. As the probe swung around the farside of Mars, radio contact was impossible for ten minutes. Everyone at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in California held their collective breath as they waited for the probe's signal. On schedule, Phoenix reported its deployment of a braking parachute and the control center exploded with sounds of jubilation - hugs and handshakes throughout the room. More than ten years of work and preparation had ensured the Phoenix's landing on Mars.

Like Earth, Mars' nothern hemisphere is begining its summer. For the next ninety days the Phoenix will have uninterrupted solar power for its systems and experiments. It will work tirelessly for the next three months, scooping and sampling soil for water and, hopely, life. The lander's stereospic camera will relay three-dimensional images of the surrounding terrain in order to help geologists further understand Mars' environment. Studies of Mars' polar region will also be used with studies currently being done on Earth's North Pole.

The results of Phoenix's tests and experiments are expected to be ground-breaking.The images above were sent about one hour after the probe's arrival. More images will be made available at Phoenix's website.

The Phoenix Lands

Orbital photos of water on Mars: Top - A view of the Red Planet showing the Valles Marineris, a canyon that spans 1/3 of the planet. Center - Water-ice appears on the interior of a crater. Bottom - The mysterious "lake" (color enhanced)composed entirely of water-ice.



This coming Sunday, May 25th, we'll be taking another small step toward finding water on our planetary neighbour Mars. Since the landing of Viking in 1976, scientists have been looking for water or water ice on the Martian surface. Recent probes orbiting the planet have found incredible evidence showing water on Mars, a direct analysis of the water-ice has yet to be made. NASA hopes that this time will be the charm as they land Phoenix very close to Mars' noth pole where water-ice exists in abundance. Although the search for evidence of life is closely tied to the discovery of water on Mars, the existence of water will also be important to future missions to the planet as fuel neccessary for return trips. Ice found at the southern pole of the Moon would also serve as propellant for potential manned missions in space.

The following is a press released issued by NASA on May 19th and contains all the important facts about the landing of the Phoenix.




Phoenix Mars Polar Lander

Spacecraft
Launch: August, 2007
Arrival: May 25, 2008


Overview

The Phoenix mission is the first chosen for NASA's Scout program, an initiative for smaller, lower-cost, competed spacecraft. Named for the resilient mythological bird, Phoenix uses a lander that was intended for use by 2001's Mars Surveyor lander prior to its cancellation. It also carries a complex suite of instruments that are improved variations of those that flew on the lost Mars Polar Lander.

In the continuing pursuit of water on Mars, the polar regions are a good place to probe, as water ice is found there. Phoenix will land farther north than any previous mission, at a latitude equivalent to that of northern Alaska. During the course of its three-month mission, Phoenix will dig down to an ice-rich layer that scientists calculate lies within inches of the surface. It will check samples of soil and ice for evidence about whether the site was ever hospitable to life.

To analyze soil samples collected by a robotic arm, Phoenix will carry tiny ovens and a portable laboratory. Selected samples will be heated to release volatiles that can be examined for their chemical composition and other characteristics. One goal is to check whether subsurface samples hold carbon-containing compounds that are essential ingredients of life.

Phoenix's stereo camera, located on its 2-meter (6.6-foot) mast, will use two "eyes" to reveal a high-resolution perspective of the landing site's geology. It will also provide range maps for the team's use in choosing where to dig. Multi-spectral capability will enable the identification of local minerals.

To update our understanding of Martian atmospheric processes, Phoenix will also scan the atmosphere up to 20 kilometers (12.4 miles) in altitude, obtaining data about the formation, duration and movement of clouds, fog, and dust plumes. It will also carry temperature and pressure sensors.

For more information on the Phoenix mission, visit: http://phoenix.lpl.arizona.edu

Vatican: It’s OK to Believe in Aliens

(AP) -- Believing that the universe may contain alien life does not contradict a faith in God, the Vatican's chief astronomer said in an interview published Tuesday.

The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory, was quoted as saying the vastness of the universe means it is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones.

"How can we rule out that life may have developed elsewhere?" Funes said. "Just as we consider earthly creatures as 'a brother,' and 'sister,' why should we not talk about an 'extraterrestrial brother'? It would still be part of creation."

In the interview by the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano, Funes said that such a notion "doesn't contradict our faith" because aliens would still be God's creatures. Ruling out the existence of aliens would be like "putting limits" on God's creative freedom, he said.

The interview, headlined "The extraterrestrial is my brother," covered a variety of topics including the relationship between the Roman Catholic Church and science, and the theological implications of the existence of alien life. Just as there are multiple forms of life on earth, so there could exist intelligent beings in outer space created by God. And some aliens could even be free from original sin, he speculates.

Funes said science, especially astronomy, does not contradict religion, touching on a theme of Pope Benedict XVI, who has made exploring the relationship between faith and reason a key aspect of his papacy.

The Bible "is not a science book," Funes said, adding that he believes the Big Bang theory is the most "reasonable" explanation for the creation of the universe. The theory says the universe began billions of years ago in the explosion of a single, super-dense point that contained all matter.

But he said he continues to believe that "God is the creator of the universe and that we are not the result of chance."

Funes urged the church and the scientific community to leave behind divisions caused by Galileo's persecution 400 years ago, saying the incident has "caused wounds."

In 1633 the astronomer was tried as a heretic and forced to recant his theory that the Earth revolved around the sun. Church teaching at the time placed Earth at the center of the universe.

"The church has somehow recognized its mistakes," he said. "Maybe it could have done it better, but now it's time to heal those wounds and this can be done through calm dialogue and collaboration."

Pope John Paul declared in 1992 that the ruling against Galileo was an error resulting from "tragic mutual incomprehension."

The Vatican Observatory has been at the forefront of efforts to bridge the gap between religion and science. Its scientist-clerics have generated top-notch research and its meteorite collection is considered one of the world's best. To strengthen its scientific credentials, the Vatican is organising a conference next year to mark the 200th anniversary of the birth of the author of the Origin of Species, Charles Darwin.


The observatory, founded by Pope Leo XIII in 1891, is based in Castel Gandolfo, a lakeside town in the hills outside Rome where the pope has a summer residence. It also conducts research at an observatory at the University of Arizona, in Tucson.



© 2008 The Associated Press

Robin Williams on "Who's Line Is It Anyway?": A Laughingly Deadly Combination

Whose Line Is It Anyway? #1 - Scenes From A Hat

Design Toscano: The Reply

In July of 2007, I posted an item about a website called Design Toscano. They sell lawn sculptures, computer accessories, art, and so many other things that revolve around a Medeival/Gothic theme (although I have seen some religion-themed items). The works are incredibly beautiful, hand crafted, and very reasonably priced.

Recently, Liam from Design Toscano contacted me. For those who missed it, I'm re-posting it here:

Hey Luke,

Thanks for the call-out. We here at Toscano love yer blog. I am a big fan of Toscano too and I even sculpt some of the products. Check it out
http://www.designtoscano.com/product/dragon+and+gargoyle/gargoyle+garden+statues/gaston%2C+the+gothic+climber+sculpture+-+medium+-+ng832115.do

Cheers!
Liam Manchester

Actually, on the Design Toscano site itself, type "Liam Manchester" in the search engine at the top of the page and you'll see all of Liam's work. He sculpted an awesome dragon's skull (top) and I've never seen anything like it. It's made for the garden, but if I had the cash I'd gladly put it in the middle of my living room!

Even if you're not looking to buy anything, you can still take a look at the wonderful stuff at www.designtoscano.com .

CASSINI IMAGING LEAD SCIENTIST TO PROVIDE COSMIC PERSPECTIVE FOR MILLIONS AROUND THE GLOBE

When the worldwide film event known as Pangea Day launches this Saturday, May 10, Cassini imaging team leader and veteran imaging scientist, Carolyn Porco, will be present to provide an inspiring perspective on humanity's place in the cosmos.

Pangea Day is a global event intended to bring the world together
through film and will link six locations around the world for a live program of powerful films, live music and visionary speakers. The entire four-hour program will be broadcast in seven languages to millions of people worldwide on television, on the internet and over mobile phones.

Known for her passionate advocacy of space exploration, Porco was asked by event organizers to kick off the program with a grand and sweeping view of humankind's cosmic place, providing the context for the human stories and songs that will be featured on Pangea Day.

"This will truly be one of those inspiring, hands-across-the-water
events that will be remembered for years to come," said Porco, "...a day when each of us will be able to see the world through someone else's eyes. I encourage everyone who hopes for peace to come to the world to tune in."

Other speakers include CNN's Christiane Amanpour, Queen Noor of Jordan, journalist Lisa Ling and former-soldiers-turned-peace-activists from many conflicts across the globe. There will also be musical performances and the airing of the 24 short films that were chosen from thousands of entries from over 100 countries around the world.

Porco will present from Los Angeles. The other live broadcast venues are in Cairo, Kigali, London, Mumbai and Rio de Janeiro.

American audiences will be able to take part in Pangea Day beginning at 2pm Eastern Daylight time (11am Pacific Daylight Time) on May 10 by viewing the live broadcast on television, online, in public and private venues and on mobile phones. The event will be broadcast live on cable television in the United States by Current TV and YouTube will be donating its homepage to the event. The program will be available globally on a full-screen broadband web-stream courtesy of Akamai and MSN in some 100 countries, including China, India, Indonesia, Malaysia, Australia all of Latin America, the US, Britain, France, Italy, and Ireland. It will also be streamed on the event website http://www.pangeaday.org.

Additional information about the event and how to watch and/or
participate is available at the event website.

Images from NASA's Cassini and Voyager spacecraft are available online at http://ciclops.org.

The Cassini Imaging Central Laboratory for Operations (CICLOPS) is the operations center for the imaging team of the international
Cassini-Huygens mission to Saturn -- a cooperative project of NASA, the European Space Agency and the Italian Space Agency. The imaging team consists of scientists from the U.S., England, France, and Germany.

The Coma

It's all a bit much to take in, even for me. It must be very difficult for anyone else to understand.

In October of 1990 I had a good job, with the prospect of a promotion close on the horizon. I wore a shirt and tie and commuted to work every day like so many others. I was an active member of Amnesty International and was still working with the sci-fi club I had founded four years before. And then, there was that cute little lady in the office, rumour had it that she had her eye on me, too. All that remained was see which one of us would be the first to ask the other out for coffee.

In November of 1990, I was standing outside the main entrance of the Alan Memorial Psychiatric Hospital, watching as a strong, cold wind blew loudly through big sheets of plastic hanging from scaffolding outside the building. I had just spent an entire week on a gurney in the emergency ward of Fleury Hospital. I had had what they call a "nervous breakdown", and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and "atypical" psychosis ("atypical" because I could tell what was a hallucinalition and what wasn't).

I spent two months on the North Two ward at the Alan Memorial, right through Christmas and New Years'. When I got out there was a letter waiting for me from my employer. Instead of confirming my promotion, they informed me that my services were no longer needed. I even got word that my lady friend was no longer interested on dating a "crazy" guy. While I was in the hospital, I went through a lot of tests. They determined that the problem was with an imbalance of the chemicals in my brain and that I was to begin drug therapy to re-establish a healthy balance.

What actually happened was not healthy in the least and proved to be traumatic to myself, my family, and everyone around me.

Part of this drug therapy seemed to involve numbing any negative emotions. Unfortunately, this involved numbing ALL of my emotions. As a result, I became a walking vegetable. It felt as if I was perpetually inside a cotton sphere. While I was totally unaffected by any external emotional impact, I was unable to reach out myself. To those around me, it seemed as if I had no interest in getting better. Actually, I was so "stoned" on all of those medications that I could actually put anything in motion. Whenever I tried, it came out as a lame, half-conceived plan. My friends left me one by one, then in groups. At the time, I was very resentful, but in hindsight I can't really blame them. I was making no progress and actually seemed to be getting worse. They were frustrated, I was frustrated, but my doctor thought it was necessary to keep my medications at their elevated doses.

Over time, my file was transfered from doctor to doctor, and the plan for my recovery (if their ever was one) seemed lost in red tape. Although I tried to voice my concern about my vegetative state, nothing was ever done to modify my meds so that I could function normally on a daily basis. I thought this drug therapy would make me feel better, and instead it turned my world into a living nightmare. My overmedicated self managed to alienate everyone around me, time passed painfully slow, and anything positive I tried to get myself out of that doomed life came to nothing - mostly due to my emotions being suppressed. This feeling of complete helplessness led me to try to take my own life in 1991 and later in 1992. Some people say that suicide is a selfish act done without any real thought. Believe me when I say that's complete bullshit. I was no longer able to take care of myself, and a great burden, both financial and emotional, had been placed on my parents. It was one thing for me to have to suffer through that but quite another for others to suffer, too. I did what I thought was right at the time. Then, I met someone who forever changed my views on suicide.

After my second attempted suicide, I was hospitalized a second time, and this stay lasted three months. I made a few friends this time, among them was a young lady named Diane. She was charming, very intelligent, and funny. I was attracted to her immediately. Despite warnings from my ward nurse that two patients should get "involved", I did nothing to prevent the natural progress of my relationship. Admitedly, when she was ill, she was very ill. Still, her positive side was always able to shine through and that's why I fell head over heals in love with her. We had been with each other for a few months when a series of events, that happened in quick succession, impacted her life. She had never discussed how much they had affected her. Then, on the night before I was suppossed to go to her place for a special dinner, she called me. In a voice that I found eerily calm, she asked me to come over that very night. The buses in her part of town had stopped working long before and I had no money for a taxi. She accepted my answer and wished me a good night. The next morning, I got a heart-wrenching call from her mom telling me that Diane had tried to take her own life with poison and was in a coma. It felt as if God's hand itself had reached down and smacked me. I went to see her everyday for a week, until the doctors decided that there was too much damage to her brain to actually revive her. She died less than an hour after turning off the life support machine. Seeing how her actions affected me and especially her mom, suicide is no longer an option for me.

Not surprisingly, my doctor increased my meds after that. In all, I spent a total of 18 years in an near-comatose state because of those damned medications. Six months ago, my current doctor was wise enough to make major changes to my "diet". He removed ALL forms of sedatives - which caused some truly horrifying and painful withdrawl - as well as drugs used to conteract other drugs that I hadn't even taken in years. As a result, I experienced a nice period of lucidity. But I soon realized that this gift was also a curse. I was 18 years behind the rest of the world; I have little or no memory of those missing years. This adversely affects my intentions to find work and go back to school. How will I explain an 18 year gap in my life? Friends who had just married when I got sick now have children who are nearly adults and I still have trouble wrapping my brain around that one!

This is supposed to be a time of recovery for me, but it seems that self-doubt and uncertainty dog my every step. Before I can go towards the future, I have to find closure with my past. Those long years hang over me like a huge weight about to fall. I guess that I would have made a crappy time traveler! So now, my fate remains to be seen. It all depends on how I deal with this time thing, what my doctor does, and who my friends are. I was never big on prayer, but this might be a good time to start.

Not By Its Cover

You, me, and that weird dude next door know that there's no way you can tell what's inside a book just by looking at its cover. Still, it's been shown that books featuring celebrities on their covers sell far better than other books. Still, I doubt if I'll ever walk into a bookstore and see a book on Medieval history with a bare-chested King Richard Coeur-de-Lion on the cover.

So far, dearest readers, the changes I've made to Rosetta Stone have been purely cosmetic. I've tried to create a page that's less cluttered, easier to read, and more easily accessible. But, like my poor little history books, I know that a pretty page does not a blog make. Unlike many other blogs I've seen, this one lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. My posts don't seem to stimulate many comments or discussions. So, from now on, I'll be expressing my own humble opinions. They may not be right, they sometimes might not be informed, but that doesn't seem to stop anyone else on this Internet thingie. If I have to, I'll be the Howard Stern (shudder) of blogs. I just hope it doesn't come to that.

Now that I have a new brain, I intend to use it. It might get me into trouble but so did my old one. And I'm pretty sure that everyone out there - well, most of you - has an opinion. Express yourself; this is a computer that has no ego to bruise. I'm just hoping that my stupid computer (yah, you, machine!) can hold together for a while longer. Guess it's in the hands of the machine gods.

Long Cold Winter

New Technology Used in Upcoming Game

This short video explains the first use of Digital Molecular Matter or DMM. Here, only a sheet of plywood is used as an example, but DMM technology has been applied with all sorts of materials including metal. DMM will make its premiere in LucasArts' The Force Unleashed, due for release in Spring 2008. I somehow lost another documentary that shows another new technology used on non-playing characters (NPCs). Instead of just being wooden peices in the background, NPCs are now given the "instinct" to save their own lives. For example, if you use the Force to push a bunch of stormtroopers over a cliff, they will try to grab on to anything to keep from falling. If one grabs onto a branch, another might grab his leg, and both will fall to their gruesome deaths. This makes for more dynamic - and entertaining - gameplay. Muahahahaha!




And finally, here is the first trailer for the game The Force Unleashed. Just 'cuz the intro is so friggin' amazing!!! The game will be released for 6 different game platforms. Unfortunately, there will not be a version for the PC. And then, depression set in ...

The Internet: An Unfornate Truth

Time (and more than a little patience) has opened my eyes to the horrible truth! The Internet is predisposed to attract a majority of weirdos. Please note, I'm trying to keep hope alive. In my post about "facebook", I said that the popular page was "goofy" when, in fact, I meant "crappy". At that time, I was trying to be diplomatic. Knowing that a good number of my friends were on "facebook", I didn't want to step on any body's toes. Now, however, I find that things are getting even crazier among the facebookers.

At first, even I thought the little applications were kinda cute. Now? It's like being a diabetic in a candy store! How many applications to you need to use before going into a diabetic coma? You can paste pretty much anything on anyone's Super Wall (including, apparently, hard-core porn!), but does everyone have to send the same pre-created message at once? The same chain letter-type crap that I still get in my regular e-mail has now graduated to "facebook"! Yippee! I delete the good luck fairy/angel/gnome in my regular mail and now I do the same on "facebook". Don't I get overwhelmed by bad luck? Any luck I have in life, be it good or bad, can usually be cured by one thing; work. If we all relied on things like luck or fortune to change our stagnant, every day lives, the world would be in an even worse state than it already is. God said that we make our own miracles (it's in the Bible, folks); a less impressive individual said that we make our own luck. I believe them both.

I'm no expert on the subject, but for me marriage always equaled fidelity. Yet, I couldn't help but notice that a lot of people who say they're married look as if they're "playing the field", as the old saying goes. Thing is, I might know some of these adventurous people. But I promise there won't be any finger pointing. Still, a lot of people who are not married indicate their status as "married". Why? To feel safe and "protected". Still, there are those wanting to form relationships. Great way to start any kind of relationship, with - y'know - a lie! Those individuals who are really and truly married, and who are trying to find out if they've still "got it" after "x" number of married years, are just as guilty. Instead of writing slightly steamy passages to strangers, why not try turning up the heat with your spouse? I'm sure he/she will soon let you know if you've "got it". Strangers on "facebook", "myspace", or whatever, will tell you anything you want to hear, especially if you're of the opposite sex (i.e. a woman). On the other hand, your spouse will tell you what you should hear - often what you need to hear. You don't need the Internet for that crap.

On a more jovial note ...

I have discovered redneck central, and it is "myYearbook"!!! Until I became a member of "myYearbook", I thought that the whole redneck thing was just a cute little American myth. At worst, I figured, it was restricted to communities hidden way back in the woods of West Virginia (see "Deliverance"). It seems that I was wrong - very, very wrong. I should have realised that these days, every backwater, moonshine-guzzling, trailer-loving man/woman/mutant has access to the Internet. Yes, I know it's their God-given right - nay, duty! - to use and abuse the 'net. But this is, well, plain weird! I've seen pics of women proudly holding up a very dead deer by the antlers, or posing with their favorite Harley, or some - errr - "larger" women trying way too hard to be sexy (put those away, lady). So far, a greater per centage of men post images of themselves shirtless, beer bellied, and man-boobed, and a lot of women post images of their wedding and/or grad pictures because they are so purdy in 'em. Personally, I enjoy a wide range of musical styles. But it seems that everyone here loves just one type - yup, country. I know a lot of people in their forties and fifties, and they all look sooo good! I guess the folk on "myYearbook" just didn't age very well. Finally, one tiny detail seems to be missing; class. One lady (bless her soul), just to say 'hi', send me a picture of an atomic blast shaped like a hand giving the middle-finger. Of course, there are a number of truly wonderful people. Unfortunately, they are in the minority. We live in a democratic society where the majority rules. And so, they rule here.

I should point out that the species reddus neckus is not only native to the U.S. They exist right here in Canada, too. I've even spotted a few overseas. I think that they probably exist in every country that has a member in the U.N. They're part of our culture and, like it or not, we should love them as we love every part of our culture.

I have found some really great, talented and kind individuals on sites that were, by nature, kind of twisted. So it's not always easy to tell what you'll be getting into. Sites like "facebook" or "hi5" are really geared more toward a younger crowd (pre-pubescent). Who else would get off so much on all those useless applications? Myself, I prefer sending an actual personal message if I want to get in touch with a friend. Or - here's a novel idea - call your friend on the phone! Throwing a friend a "sheep" is cute and all, but how about actually trying to reach out and touch someone? Hopefully without hurting them - unless they like that kind of thing.

Looking to the year ahead.

This past Christmas season convinced me that the world is a lot stranger than even I could imagine. And I can dream up some pretty weird stuff! One joke that was circulating the web, for me, summed it all up; short version, a girl runs to her mother saying, "Mommy! Santa called me a 'ho'! Three times!". And so, in countries all over the world, Santa's in stores and shopping malls were ordered to say "Ha!Ha!Ha!" instead of the traditional "Ho!Ho!Ho!". This is appropriate since the entire notion that "Ho!Ho!Ho!" is offensive is a joke. Add to that the fact that people got it into their heads that saying "Merry Christmas" was politicaly incorrect and might be offensive to many people. Instead, "Season's Greetings" became ye ole standard wish. What's next? Will "Happy Birthday" be replaced with "Happy Significant Moment of Life", you know, just so we don't offend older people.

This is all getting very silly. So silly, in fact, that it almost becomes frightening. Who came up with this whole politicaly correct nonsense anyway? Is it all part of the whole "kinder, gentler" way of thinking? Concern about offending others is all well and good. No one should feel left out or picked on. Imagine if this rule had to apply to every single thing we do in a day. Already, many have chosen to car pool to work with a bunch of strangers. Will Mr. Gupta from accounting and Mrs. N'Guyen from secretarial be offended if you got those donuts decorated with Christmas topings? When you see the FedEx guy, will wishing him a Merry Christmas get you in trouble? And what exactly is the office's "Holiday Celebration"? What ever happened to the yearly office Christmas party? And a "no gift" rule in case someone is offended by someone else's generosity? What kind of card do you give to your sanitation engineer? It's enough to drive us all crazy!

At least the upcoming New Year's celebrations will be free of potential offensiveness. Or will it?

In 2007, there have been wars pretty much everywhere in the world, natural disasters like none we've ever seen, and weather like something from a science-fiction movie. Thanks to a scandal-obsessed press, we know more about Paris, Britney, and Nicole than we do about our own families. Canada's own rep was badly tarnished because the RCMP zapped a whole bunch of folk to death with tazzers. I guess they would have gotten less press if they had just shot people. Politicians have shown us that public opinion polls are worthless and, with that, so are our opinions.

What will the next year hold for us? Damned if I know. Like Doctor Who (above) rose tinted glasses will be useless. Like him, I'll be wearing cheesy 3D glasses in the hope that if 2008 is just as ridiculous as last year, I'll at least look just as ridiculous myself. Well, if you can't beat them, join them!

Wishing everyone a New Year filled with Peace, Happiness, Love, Health, and Prosperity. And Hope, too, that we don't make fools of us all.

Cheers!

Star Trek Bloopers - Deep Space 9, Voyager

Since I'm too lazy to create anything of any worth (and I think this blog is in a terminal phase), I declare this to be International Blooper Month! So, in keeping with the goal of educating people about bloopers, here's yet another blooper reel! And when that's done, just click on the "menu" button for even more bloopers!

House Bloopers #1 and #2

"Who Is This Man?"

A friend of mine sent me this link (see below) and I must admit that these photos completely blew me away! Most people know I'm not a very religious kind of guy. I've the Bible a bunch of times but you don't need a degree in Theology to appreciate these images. They impress the eye but, more importantly, they move the soul. I seriously recommend you take a look at this. (Click on the title to view)

Original "Star Trek" Remastered On DVD! Cool!

The CBS corporation wasted no time getting the "Star Trek" franchise up and running right before next year's release of the 11th Trek movie. They took the old, grainy original episodes and applied modern-day technology to clean them up and improve the crappy special effects. They did this to all 72 original episodes. I imagine it took a great deal of time and effort to achieve this. After all, these are The Original shows that got folk hitched in the first place. If they screwed up there would be a virtual revolt of Trekkers. Thankfully, they did a great job. All the Trekkers I spoke to made it sound as if all of this was better than sex. Well, what they think is sex ...

The images above pretty much speak for themselves. I know all the episodes like the back of my hand and when I think of all the FX shots and Enterprise exterior shots they had to fix it just boggles the mind. Entire scenes were entirely re-done. And you don't have to be a Trekkie to see the amazing quality of this work.

What's also amazing is the price. The complete DVD collection of all 72 original episodes retails for - hang on to something folks - $217 US! That's a lot of money even for hardcore Trekkers. The studio might recuperate enough money to pay for remastering but I doubt they'll make any big profits.

Also, they are releasing the double-length episode "Menagerie" (which features the pre-Kirk Captain Pike) in IMAX theatres. That will probably suck in some Trekkie cash.

Finally, the next movie, Star Trek 11 (still no working title) is scheduled to be released around Christmas of 2008. This will be a prequel that focuses on Kirk and Spock while they were at Starfleet Academy. The movie will be directed by J.J. Abrams (Mission Impossible 2) and casting is almost complete; Chris Pine as Captain Kirk, Zachary Quinto as Spock, Simon Pegg (Sean of the Dead) as Scotty, John Chu as Mr. Sulu, Anton Yelchin as Mr. Chekov, Zoe Saldana as Uhura and Eric Bana (The Hulk) as the bad guy, Nero. So far, no one has been cast for the role of Dr. McCoy. Leonard Nimoy will reprise his role as Spock as a narrator. So far, there's no word on the actual plot. For Paramount, a lot is riding on this film. The franchise fizzled out after the end of Voyager and the so-so movie Nemesis.

It's a sit and wait affair as far as far as the new movie is concern. How well the DVDs do depends on how many fans will pay top dollar for the whole package. Trek has been around for over forty years. I certainly hope that the franchise lives long and prospers.

-LAF

Da Big Secret ...

No. You're not hallucinating. You have seen this image before, lower on this page.

I found the original photo while doing some cleaning up. It's amazing what you can find in your underwear drawer! I found this thing that ... uhhh, never mind. The important thing is I found this pic of Kirstie Ally as Lieutenant Saavik in one of the Star Trek movies (and I think she looks great whatever size she is ... so there!).

The point is that some folk wrote to me saying, "Oh, you worked from a still picture. It must have been much easier". *BUZZ* Wrong! Granted, a picture doesn't jitter or twitch like a model would. However, a still picture makes more details available to the artist's eye and capturing as much of that detail as possible is almost irresistible. Oh, an artist will add an original element or two just for originality. But trying to capture the expression or the overall look is a challenge.

There's no rule written in stone that says that this has to be so. Usually it's just the artist's particular preference. I did the basic sketch - where the eyes, nose, mouth go - within minutes. But to finish the art as you see it took me several days. It can be a blessing but usually it can become a curse. The more detail I put in, the more mistakes I notice. This seems to be some kind of super power or something because no one else seems to notice them. And this applies to Lieutenant Saavik as much as it does to the USS Enterprise. (Speaking of which I'm working on a sketch of the old ship except she's all screwed up, with big chunks missing and plasma spilling ... muahahaha!). By the way, a drawing of a live model is usually full of errors and looks kind of messy. But it also looks very natural.

But I digress.

Let's say I were to do a drawing of Cindy Crawford. I would, naturally, include her famous mole. But I would obsess forever over whether the mole was too big or too small, if it was too dark or too light. Oi! That's why many artists are such tortured souls.

So now you know the "secret" which is really no secret at all, I guess. Finally, I've always said that anyone with at least one eye and one hand can draw. It's just a question of taking the time to get your spirit into it. In the end, it doesn't really matter what it looks like. What's important is that you feel good doing it. Now that's the secret!

Jay Leno: Interviews

Jay Leno ... love him or hate him - don't matter to me. This is a short "best of" his "interviews". I'm using "quotation marks" because the "interviews" are not "real" only cleverly "edited". I hope you "enjoy" these "interviews".

"Cathedral" Returns! (I hope)

I don't know how many folks got to see this the first time around. Then it done got broke. So, because I love this video so much I'll try to make it work again.

Ciao.

Sci-fi Unemployment Agency

What do Robocop, Predator and Alien do when their out of work? Junior's birthday party!

Special Request - A Klingon for Len

Yep. That's a bona-fide Klingon. He's a General or an Admiral or something. I worked on this guy for a long friggin' time. He's still not finished. There ya go Len. It took me a long time but I finally posted it. Enjoy! (FYI Klingons do not come from the planet Klingon. The name of their planet is Q'onos - pronounced "kronos". How's that for Trekkian, Tink?).

I think this one comes from our old pal Filomena (umm ... I don't mean old old)

This is one I've watched lotsa times and it's one of my favorites.

There's more than one way to cool down and keep fresh.

I've had this short video for some time now and it gets me laughing out loud every friggin' time!

A Picture Perfect Postcard from Mars

This incredible image of a sunset on Mars was taken by the rover "Spirit". Because Mars' atmosphere is thinner than ours, the colors are not as rich. Seeing a sunset from another planet more than makes up for that.

The two Mars rovers "Spirit" and its twin "Opportunity" should have stopped working about two years ago according to NASA officials. This incredible turn of events forced programmers to come up with new missions for the rovers. Now NASA can't say for certain how much longer they will last.

The Greensleeves Myth

For hundreds of years people have beleived that "Greensleeves" was, in fact, a love song written by King Henry VIII to his future wife Anne Boleyn. It was converted into the Christmas song we know and love centuries later.

The text of this love song (see below) was long thought to have been the authentic lyrics that Henry VIII wrote to his beloved Anne. However, music historians have pointed out that the style of the poem is not consistent with the style used around Henry's time. For many centuries, prostitutes in Europe were required to wear removeable sleeves of a greenish hue so that they could easily be identified by both clients and authorities. Anne Boleyn, however, was certainly not a prostitute. She was the daughter of a Duke and descended from royal blood. There is also the question of whether or not Henry had met Boleyn when the song was composed.

Recently, Canadian musician Loreena Mckennitt interpreted Henry's version to mixed reaction. Whether the story of the love song is true or not it's interesting to hear how it may have sounded.

Alas, it seems that Henry's romantic side is fading into the mists of legend. One fact that hasn't changed is that Henry VIII separated from most of his many wives by beheading them.
Ah, always the romantic ...

THE GREENSLEEVES

Words by King Henry VIII

Music traditional

Alas my love you do me wrong

To cast me off discourteously;

And I have loved you oh so long

Delighting in your company.

Greensleeves was my delight,

Greensleeves my heart of gold

Greensleeves was my heart of joy

And who but my lady Greensleeves.

I have been ready at your hand

To grant whatever thou would'st crave;

I have waged both life and land

Your love and goodwill for to have.

Greensleeves was my delight,

Greensleeves my heart of gold

Greensleeves was my heart of joy

And who but my lady Greensleeves.

Thy petticoat of sendle white

With gold embroidered gorgeously;

Thy petticoat of silk and white

And these I bought gladly.

Greensleeves was my delight,

Greensleeves my heart of goldGreensleeves was my heart of joy

And who but my lady Greensleeves.

Dedicated to Anne Boleyn, Queen Consort of England

(She rejected Henry's attempts to seduce her. This rejection is apparently referred to in the song, when the writer's love "cast me off discourteously." )

It gets lonely at the top ...

Stunning Hubble Images

I know I've been kinda lax with my posts but with the flu, a few software problems, blah - blah - blah ... you know the story. At one point I hadn't touched - or even seen - my computer.

These are two Hubble pictures that I picked up recently. I keep going back because there are so many! (Not to mention the Mars probes, spacecraft Cassini around Saturn - so much astronomy I could go coo-coo!).

At top is a galaxy that has been perturbed by what looks like a violent super-nova.

At bottom is a vast cloud of gas giving birth to many stars.

There will be more of these to come. I promise.

One day I'd like to have an informal vote on which is the best Hubble image.

Won't that be fun?!

Queen Star Finishes PhD Thesis After 30 years

After more than 30 years which he spent as a member of one of the world's most successful bands, Queen guitarist Brian May has finally finished his PhD thesis in astrophysics which he began as a student in the 1970s, the Times reported on Thursday.

May, 59, earned a degree in astrophysics at Imperial College London but after years of studying interplanetary dust, he abandoned work towards his doctorate when Queen took off. His interest in the subject was reignited when he co-authored "Bang! The Complete History of the Universe", which tells the story of the universe from the Big Bang through its subsequent evolution, and was released last year.

"For the last nine months, I've done nothing except slave over my PhD, which is now written up, thank God." May reportedly told students at a ceremony at Exeter University in southwest Britain when he received an honorary doctorate.

"But there are times when you really want to give up. There are times when you go, 'Why on earth did I take this on?'"

May worked on the PhD between 1971 and 1974, and kept all his hand-written notes on the subject through the years, finally discovering them in his loft recently.


"People are aware he is here and there is a feeling it is pretty cool that he has come back to finish his PhD, even if he has not been hugely visible," Abigail Smith, a spokeswoman for Imperial College, was quoted as saying by the Times.

The rocker will receive his PhD next May, assuming his thesis is approved by supervisors.

___________________________________________________________________


I had to do a little digging for this one.

I heard the story on the radio but they gave little information. So, since they call this the Information Highway, I got into the fast lane and tracked down the data.

I was really impressed with Brian May's story. All these years he's been in the limelight some critics even called him a guitar virtuoso. Yet somewhere at the back of his cranium he was still thinking about dust clouds between stars. Then he decided to pick up where he left off, submitted his thesis and will soon get his PhD.

I saw Queen in concert when I was just a youngling. I remember Brian May's guitar solo and he really was a virtuoso. But astrophysics? Talk about divergent frames of mind! I took a few astronomy courses that were tough. I can imagine how hard it was to work for a PhD in astrophysics.

And the dude is 59 years old!

Therein lies the lesson. We are never too old to pursue our dreams. In fact, our years of experience can help us make those dreams a reality. Never give up ...

Dr. Brian May is a fine example for all of us to follow.